Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Krak in a Can

So far all my posts have had a specific agenda and/or topic.

Today I'm ragged after going to a pretty intense optimist meeting, so let's discuss the substance that helped me survive it.

Krak in a Can.

I have been a life-long pop addict, but one day something new appeared. Jolt Cola. Ah, back in the day, t'was the bad@$$ of pop. "All the sugar, twice the caffeine" in the age when everyone was pushing their diet varieties.

Jolt stood firm, a cry from, and to, the young caffeine lovers. It quickly became the unofficial official beverage of gamers, geeks, nerds, and cyberpunk wannabes who wanted that extra little boost, often in the middle of the night. Sure, it was largely psychological. Who cares?

Then Jolt seemed to recede into the mysterious abyss form which it came. Was it sales? Had I just moved out of their distribution zone? Had the caffeine gods merely forsaken me?

Much time passed. Then, a glimmer of hope. A bottle here or there showing up. Then more regularly.

About this time, Red Bull and its ilk began to rise. Energy drinks that far surpassed the grand old Jolt. These energy drinks sported unheard of, nay, mystical ingredients. Tourine? A blessing form Taurus? Ginseng? Ah, I'd heard of that one in legend...!

Jolt! You cannot let this stand! In the end, there can be only one!

Not yet defeated, Jolt brought us many flavors, many of which suck. Not all did, and they all came in fantabulous new cans! Nearly liter in size, it was one step closer to the adolescent dream
of laying under a 2 liter bottle of jolt, like a big junkie baby under it's bottle.

Perhaps more notable about these cans is that once opened, they can be CLOSED again. Tell me why this has only come to market now? As a wheelchair user, (and someone who doesn't always drink a pop in one shot) the ability to free one's hands by closing a bottle, and being able to put it away, had made cans nearly extinct from my buying habits.

Yet jolt still offered only "twice the caffeine" as the 'pedestrian' pops. Another new flavor now? 'Silver'? Hmm. BAH! An inferior tasting 7-up/Sprite version of Jolt. This would not do!

Finally, Jolt 'Ultra' arrived. It tastes really bland, but gets ya nice n twitchy. Between that, 'NOS', (Also a really cool container) and a few others, 'Krak in a can' has become an important part of my complete bre.... well, no, but they're appreciated greatly.

And Red Bull?

Yeah, that one still tastes like crap.

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